It’s 4:30 am, and the alarm rings loud; you jump out of bed and try to clear your head.
Time goes by as you sit, ponder and think about the times that have gone by. Tears well, the memories are hard. You think of your family and not your paternal family, but your family forged through hard times, good times and the times you could wish you’d forget.
You make your way to the kitchen, grab the coffee, mug and boil the jug. You pour the rum, mix the coffee for its time for your gunfire breakfast.
The pain gets harder; you try to numb it; the only way you know is to drink and swallow pills. Slowly the pain fades, but it’s only temporary.
You know you have mates, brothers and sisters who you can talk to and confide to, but you still feel like the emptiest and loneliest person alive.
You look up, a blazer, neatly placed with pieces of tin, they represent the past, you think, how? Why? When will it end?
Anzac Day for so many veterans is a fucking lonely day. If you know a veteran, reach out to them, ask them how they are going, sit down with them, take them out for a catch-up; you never know, that little interaction may save someone’s life.
Gerald joined the Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF) in 1956 as an engine fitter. After doing his training in Wagga Wagga, New South Wales, Gerald served in several depots around Sydney and Amberly.
Gerald was posted to 82 Wing, Bombers Sqn for one year, He later posted to Malaya in 1961 to 77 Squadron Fighter Sqn, where he would be servicing F86 Sabres.
Gerald’s first war time experience was when he was alerted by the
Southeast Asian treaty Organisation (SEATO) to defend Thailand against Laos, Gerald’s outfit was sent to Ubon Ratchathani, where he spent two tours.
During Gerald’s first tour, he had a red alert and was ordered to prepare fighting pits, he was issued with a SMLE .303 and 30 rounds of ammunition without signing for them. Gerald’s commanders issued orders for them to prepare for immanent action; however, nothing eventuated. The Second tour Gerald describes it as just sitting at base servicing equipment going into Vietnam, the true phase of war, waiting, waiting and waiting some more.
In 1964 Gerald was sent to Singapore as Indonesia had made claims that they would attack Singapore and Australia. Gerald’s unit would be positioned at the Airstrip in Changi where they would be under constant scrambles against the Indonesian Air force.
After returning to Australia, many opportunities arose for Gerald to serve overseas again; however, he would turn them down. After being posted to Darwin, Gerald would now be introduced to a new aircraft, The Mirage, where he stayed until he was posted to Support command.
Many years after leaving the Air Force, Gerald decided to see a Psychiatrist, as the daily reminder of the constant threat of potential frontline combat during his tour to Malaya had taken it’s tole. He was later diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Gerald’s coping mechanism for this prior to seeing the specialist was by masking the problems with heavy alcohol consumption for some 40 years.
Gerald Pictured Left
Gerald was later sent to the Keith Payne Unit at Greenslopes Private Hospital to undergo intensive rehabilitation and therapy to control his heavy drinking, Depression and PTSD.
I had the privilege of meeting Gerald whilst I to was undergoing my own treatment for PTSD, Major Depression and Attempted Suicide, Gerald was one of those blokes that would take the time to sit down and have a chat no matter what the time of day or business he had to attend to. Gerald is what we call a True Blue Bloke.
Titan.416 